Here’s my "5-4-3-2-1" 2023 reflection – 5 lessons I learned in 2023 (+2 bonus lessons, so you’re really getting 7), 4 quotes that resonated with me, 3 great new books I read throughout the year, 2 accomplishments I’m proud of, and 1 intention for 2024.
5 lessons I learned in 2023:
Failure is necessary to develop humility and to reflect on changes necessary for sustainable growth, success, and fulfillment. I learned to reframe “failure” to “taking chances,” which incorporates the idea of “failing up” or “failing fast” in a gentler way. I challenged my team to ask themselves, What did we take a chance on? This indicates that getting started on something new is an important milestone to measure and pay attention to and celebrate. But then, if it doesn’t go well, don’t just brush it off as something you took a chance on that didn’t pan out and can hide behind the curtain. Really examine it. Why didn’t it work? Humble yourself to the situation and be a student of your own life. Reflect on what you could have done differently, and even name a few things you could try next time. In that way, you can turn every failure into a three-part success: the celebrated action of beginning + a humble reflection + informed actions for the future.
Adding structure around creativity can help nurture a supportive, innovative environment where more ideas are generated, strategically aligned, and resonant with your target audience. Creativity doesn’t have to be a messy, amorphous, confusing process. If you add guidelines and structure around your creative process, you might find that you feel more supported and focused while still having the freedom and autonomy to be creative. (In fact, your creativity might even be better off when you have structure to help you see it through that strategic lens that will promise better alignment and engagement once it is released into the wild, if that’s what you’re going for.)
Strategy is just as much about what you don’t say or do as it is about what you do say or do. Filtering your language and actions to align with a long-term vision or a higher-level goal will ensure strategic moves throughout a process. This doesn’t mean you should avoid dealing with situations or people; this simply means you can do so with finesse and with your deeper agenda in mind. This also means letting go of the things you want to say sometimes, in favor of a loftier objective.
On that note…letting go of control is SO FREEING. It’s actually much more empowering than having control, in many ways. When you give someone else control, you give them the opportunity to learn and grow, and you give yourself the opportunity to be their coach and supporter and true leader rather than limiting yourself to project details or execution. Try letting go of something and look for the positives that have come because of it. What did someone else gain? How did you help them gain it, as a result of letting go?
A little empathy goes a long way, whether that applies to our team members, our cross-departmental colleagues, or our prospects and clients. Considering a situation from another person's perspective is a powerful tool that only has upside--and lots of it.
Okay, I’m adding 2 bonus lessons learned from obstacles faced in 2023:
People prevent themselves from seeing things that don’t benefit them. They sometimes also prevent themselves from seeing things that COULD benefit them, simply because it might mean more work for them to learn something new. Think about things from their perspective and empathize with their situation. Then, decide how you can get your point across that would resonate most deeply. Do you need to word this in their terms? Do you need to frame this from a different angle? Or do you need to be more adamant about them simply following this procedure? Consider what would work best for the people and the project, and decide which route to take for each unique situation.
Instead of making other people think your ideas are their ideas (and not getting any credit for your ideas), figure out a diplomatic way to get credit for your ideas while also ensuring others are bought in based on the benefit they will reap and the shared goal that is being achieved. Recognize that “getting credit” looks different to different people, and be vocal about what you want without being aggressive or egotistical. Celebrate others’ achievements and give credit where credit is due, so that when you deserve credit, others will feel compelled to give it to you, or you can take it in a reflective and humble way that feels authentic and sincere. And remember that if you have a great idea, the best reward is having that idea take flight. People will know if it was your idea. Even if they try to pretend it was theirs, they know deep down. If they try to take credit, that’s a poor reflection on them—not you. Keep coming up with good ideas and putting them into action, and be proud if they do take off and get implemented and yield positive results, regardless of who gets credit for them.
4 quotes I gathered that I really appreciated:
"Get curious, not furious.” (Not sure who to credit this to, but I keep hearing it used as a new adage in emotional intelligence and leadership trainings!) Amidst conflict, instead of letting anger take over, get curious. Wonder about the situation and the feelings and the people. Use emotions as data. What does my anger in this situation mean about me? What does it mean about the other person? Why is the other person acting this way? What are their motivations? Their background? Their perspectives? Their feelings? What are mine? What do we share? Where do we differ? What is their goal? What is mine? How can we meet in the middle? Ask questions to empathize with the other person and yourself, and then deal with the situation at hand as objectively as possible.
Growth and comfort do not coexist.” - Ginni Rometty If you want to grow, you cannot stay comfortable. You cannot keep doing what you’ve been doing. You cannot protect your feelings and fears. You have to do something uncomfortable and new and uncertain if you want to grow and evolve into a new version of yourself. A personal trainer I used to workout with used to say that if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. I also used to have a water bottle with a design on the outside that read, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” If you want a different situation, you have to take different actions. That’s going to yield different feelings and obstacles, but you need to trust that you will be able to employ new solutions and skills to overcome and succeed.
“We do not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.” - John Dewey Just doing something doesn’t always mean you’ve learned from it. You only learn when you take a step back and reflect on what happened, what it meant, how you felt about it, and what you can do differently next time. Reflection is an essential part of growth and is required to tack onto your experiences in order to use them to your benefit.
"What do you love doing so much that the words failure and success essentially become irrelevant?" - Elizabeth Gilbert I saw this quote posted on a colleague’s LinkedIn and it stopped me in my tracks. Do you have a good answer to this question? I feel as though the answer to this question is a path to fulfillment, to happiness, to a life well-lived. Maybe you can turn your answer into your career. Maybe it’s a hobby. Maybe you don’t know what it is yet, which means you have room to explore new things and find your answer. Whatever it is, everyone deserves at least one solid answer to this question—everyone deserves to have something they love doing so much that it doesn’t matter how well they do at it, because their enjoyment of the moment, their bliss during the act of doing it transcends the outcome and renders it irrelevant. In 2023 I’ve discovered a few things that might qualify as my answer to this question. More to come on that soon 😊
3 books I read in 2023 that impacted me deeply:
Okay, I read 44 books in 2023, so this itty bitty list was devastatingly difficult for me, but I tried to choose a sampling that is compelling and varied.
The Open-Air Life by Linda Akeson McGurk --> This book was exciting, fun, lighthearted, accessible, engaging, interesting, and actionable. I already had a deep appreciation for nature, but this book taught me so much about things from Scandinavian life to camping food rituals to simple joys and so much more. I was going through a difficult time health-wise when I read this book, and it propelled me to get outside and breathe in the crisp, clean air and feel rejuvenated. It reminded me to look up, take a deep breath, and smile at all the wonder around me.
The Housemaid by Freida McFadden --> A masterclass in writing. This was the first “new” book I had read in a long time that made me exclaim and jump around! It was incredibly well-written, well-paced, and intriguing. It was believable and surprising at the same time. I was captivated through the last sentence. And it also started a Freida McFadden revolution for my family! My mom, husband, and I all read this book, the sequel (which is a very close #2 of hers—a rare feat in sequel-writing), and several other books by Freida McFadden. I’ve joined her Facebook group too where readers with similar interests convene and share thoughts and ideas. It’s so invigorating to be a part of a movement, of something bigger than ourselves. And it’s lovely to have something to look forward to—until we read all of her books, that is!
Love + Work by Marcus Buckingham --> I read this book and completed the complementary online course, and it was an illuminating experience. I loved the concepts and stories in the book as well as the activities and reflections in the course. I even connected with a few people on LinkedIn who seemed to have similar aspirations or responses on the discussion board. The best part of this book was that what I put into it is what I got out of it. At its surface, it’s a good, solid book that provides frameworks and stories and case studies and exercises to consider what you care about and how you can find love in your work. And when you take it a step further, you can really dig deep, letting these principles sit with you through ongoing reflection and challenging yourself to take action based on your responses. There’s no downside to a book like this—only upside.
2 accomplishments that I’m proud of:
I should put the whole “reading 44 books” thing on here, shouldn’t I?! I’ll group together two: I read 44 books in 2023, and I also wrote two manuscripts. That brings the count of full-length books I’ve written up to three, with a few more partially done. I’m immensely proud of my literary achievements, as reading and writing are two things that make me feel alive, and that’s a feeling I want to embrace and chase.
Greater self-awareness. I deepened my understanding of what I enjoy in my work and started uncovering some ideas of how I could create an even more fulfilling career for myself moving forward. I am proud of my work on two major projects around strategic positioning and creative ideation, and I found that these were two areas I enjoyed and excelled in but had never focused so narrowly on before. And I realized that whenever I am not writing or coaching, I feel like I am missing something. In the evening, if I haven’t done something creative, I feel like I have pent up energy that has to be filtered through some sort of creative outlet in order for me to feel more at ease with the world. So I am hopeful that I can take these new understandings and this new level of self-awareness and apply it to my career—and my happiness—moving forward.
1 intention for 2024:
Do what makes me feel fulfilled. Consider how I measure my life and live by those values. And I wish the same for all of you!
