A Gallup poll conducted among over a million U.S. workers found that 75% of people who left their jobs cited a bad manager - not the job itself - as the reason.
You know how some stats are described as "staggering"? That's how I'd describe this one.
What does this tell us? Two-thirds of people who were so upset, disengaged, frustrated, undervalued, overwhelmed, irritated, and/or burnt out that they were driven to leave the comfort and security of their job and deal with the stress of interviews, new hire onboarding, and payroll updates (like changing insurance and signing up for direct deposit) decided that allllll of that was better than working with their boss for one more day.
Choosing where to work is a form of risk analysis, and employees are deciding that bad bosses aren't worth the stress.
I would like to ask those 75% people a question: What makes a manager so bad? Describe the "bad boss" you left and why it was inconceivable for you to stay there for one second longer.
But on the flip side, I also wonder: What makes a manager good--good enough for you to want to stay?
(Sure, saying "don't do x" can be helpful, but it's even better to say "add a little more y to your approach.")
Let's explore.
Think about your manager right now. What do you like about your manager in a professional setting? I know someone who has a tyrannical boss. The employee told me (about his boss), "He's a nice guy, but he's impossible to work for." People only stay so long for "nice." Being "impossible to work for" is a much stronger sentiment--one that will drive employees away more than being "nice" will keep them around.
What is your relationship with your boss like? Ask yourself:
Is my boss honest with me? How do I know? Have I ever caught them in a lie? How much filtering is my boss doing when talking with me vs. other people? How do I feel about that?
What is my boss's communication style? Does she adjust based on my needs?
Do I feel my boss cares about my professional growth? What has he done to prove that to me (through actions)?
Do my manager's words align with their actions? (Read more about the importance of consistent messages here)
Does my boss give me credit for my work? Does my boss compliment me when I'm not in the room? (And how do I know?)
Do I genuinely feel my boss wants the best for me and supports my professional growth at the company (and beyond)? Or does my boss feel threatened by my success or skill set? Does my boss ever show resentment toward me?
Does my boss have difficult conversations when they're necessary?
Does my boss trust me? How do I know? What actions tell me that?
Can I trust my boss? Why should I?
In a TED Talk entitled "Why good leaders make you feel safe," Simon Sinek explores why "followers" sacrifice and work hard for "leaders." When he asks, Why would you do that for them? The response is always the same thing: Because they would have done the same for me. Can you trust that your boss has your back? Can you trust that your manager would do what you need to help you rather than for some self-serving reason?
Trust is the cornerstone of effective leadership.
Empathy, communication, integrity, transparency, competence, strategic alignment, personalized motivation, humility, listening skills, social influence, adaptability...these all matter. These are all things that good leaders have or do. But all of these things, when done well, build trust. And if you don't have trust, what do you have?
I asked a group of people about their experiences with bad managers. They told me stories about bosses taking credit for their work, micromanaging and being too strict with unnecessary details, pawning every project off to their team members and not providing enough support, not being flexible with schedule or personal issues, telling them one thing then doing another. Some people mentioned the manager not doing enough actual work, but the majority of feedback was not about the manager's actual work skills. The majority of feedback encompassed not just managing projects but the WAY they managed projects--with disrespect, strictness, inconsistency, secrecy, or politics. I heard a lot about leadership--not management. I heard issues regarding whether the person could be trusted. Whether the person gave them the appropriate tools to guide them along the path then the appropriate space to complete tasks as they saw fit. Whether the person empathized and supported and cared enough about their team members instead of just themselves. These are more subjective. Abstract. Intangible. And they're the reason people leave jobs and companies. They leave bad managers. They leave bad leaders.
When I asked people about their experiences with good managers, the vibe in the room shifted noticeably. People perked up, smiled, and shared heartfelt stories. Good managers cared. They fiercely defended their team members and functional strategy. They facilitated collaboration across departments. They asked questions and truly listened to the answers. They adjusted projects when the team members needed a little help. They provided extra guidance where needed. They celebrated strengths. They created an environment where people could learn and experiment and fail and try again. They nurtured a feeling of sharing and camaraderie among team members. Good managers didn't just mange well. They led well.
This doesn't mean everything is rosy all the time. Good leaders can have difficult conversations, but they don't approach them with malice or rudeness, and they don't instill fear in team members' hearts. Good leaders can be diplomatic and professional and still show empathy and care while delivering a difficult message, especially if they focus on a more positive outcome and how they can help you get there together.
People like when their leaders stick up for them. When leaders call out people who do well--and situations that are unfavorable. Leaders have an incredible onus on them to say things that others won't say, to act more maturely than their counterparts, and to work harder at reflecting and nurturing and adapting. But it all pays off. Because that's what people want--a leader they can trust.
"Manager" is a job title. Managers have to get work done. They have to make sure their team members are doing their tasks as assigned and that goals are met. But leaders have a vision, and with their "soft skills" they garner the trust in those around them, naturally accumulating a following built on integrity, empathy, transparency, and motivation.
So maybe the secret to good management is leadership. Maybe it's not just getting the work done and not caring about who gets credit or how people feel while they're doing it. Maybe it's about making sure people feel cared for and empowered and supported. Maybe it's about making sure you can trust your team members, that your team members can trust each other, and that your team can trust you.
Maybe people leave bad managers in search of good leaders.
The "soft skills" are actually the hardest ones. Don't let them be the reason no one wants to work for you. Let them be the reason you garner trust among employees and create an environment of empowerment, integrity, and support for all.

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