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Why it's Wise to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Writer's picture: Laura Hope GoldstoneLaura Hope Goldstone

Maybe I just really enjoyed learning about the positive emphasis of humanistic psychology in college, but I believe everyone can improve. We are complete in our current selves, but we are constantly evolving and progressing and striving to be better. To be more.

Perhaps some of us acknowledge this outwardly and make concerted efforts to grow. Perhaps others want this for themselves but aren't sure how to achieve it, especially given their current circumstances, so they allow this inner desire, this hope to improve, to sulk in the shadows rather than blossoming in the sun.


But we know that change is the only constant. And we know that people who embrace change are the most graceful in their growth.


So how can we embody this ideal and use it to our advantage?


Answer: We must be comfortable with being uncomfortable.



First, let's set one thing straight: Growth only happens when we are thrust out of our comfort zone and made to face some sort of adversity or challenge.


In fact, at a previous job, I had a water tumble adorned with a sticker that read, "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you."


Furthermore, in an industry leadership cohort meeting, one presenter relayed a message from the Executive Chairwomen of IBM, Ginni Rometty, who said, “Growth and comfort do not coexist."


Clearly, the message is not new. It's all around us, as is the opportunity to grow.


When you are comfortable, you do not want to change. You enjoy the moment and you feel content and satisfied. Someone who is content does not need to go above and beyond to reach new heights. Someone who is satisfied can lean back and enjoy the satisfaction rather than paddling against the current to reach the shore. This doesn't mean people who are at peace with their situations aren't growing. It simply means when challenges are viewed as opportunities for growth, we are able to leverage them as positive, constructive situations that leave us better off than we were before we faced them.


After reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey in a weekend Book Club, I learned of Viktor Frankl's quote: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." (You may recognize this quote from a previous Storyhaven blog post, too!) As such, when you are faced with adversity or discomfort, looking at the situation with a constructive mindset - one that considers the space before response and infuses the next steps with optimism and wisdom - is more likely to yield positive outcomes. Even if the situation doesn't turn out as you would like, at least you have a new experience under your belt that you can use as fuel for the future.





If you need a concrete example, look at your muscles (okay - now look back at the blog post, Mr. Olympia). A common concept behind muscle building is that exercising strenuously can cause a microtear in a muscle fiber, which is then rebuilt stronger afterward. Essentially, there is stress, and then a stronger rebuild, leaving you better off as a result. Sound familiar?


Thankfully, there seems to be a surge in the idea of embracing failure. The concept of failing fast and learning faster, or failing fast and failing often, may be touted in entrepreneurship, but it can be applied anywhere. And again, this is not a new idea - Robert F. Kennedy once said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly," while Ken Robinson said, “If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original.” Being okay with failure can help people be more courageous, more daring, more risky. Of course, this should be paired with some level of professionalism so as not to offend or hurt, but when done gracefully, failing truly does help build professional maturity. And acknowledging the merits of failure can help people learn to not shy away from discomfort.


When we shield ourselves from discomfort, when we try to control the conditions around us so that we are not faced with adversity, we are lying to ourselves. The world cannot be controlled: As my high school chemistry teacher taught, nature favors entropy. You cannot control the world around you; you can only control how you respond to it. If you are ready to face discomfort and failure and to learn from it and grow, you are ready to face whatever the world throws at you.


To tie this all together, one of my favorites, John Wooden, was quoted as saying, "Failure isn't fatal, but failure to change might be."


And when we fail, we decide what we do next. The wise among us will acknowledge the space between stimulus and response, and we'll decide to change. We'll decide to learn. We'll decide to grow. And while we will be uncomfortable during the process, we will emerge stronger with new muscles to flex and new experiences to use positively and constructively in whatever new situations may arise.





I'll leave you with one last quote: "A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on her own wings." So fly to that branch high in the tree, acknowledge that the wind may blow and break the branch, and trust your wings to bring you to greater heights.



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