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3 Common Challenges for Managers and How to Overcome Them

Writer's picture: Laura Hope GoldstoneLaura Hope Goldstone

Summary: 3 common challenges for new managers are knowing everyone approaches situations differently, acknowledging that doing something is different than coaching others to do it, and remembering that we are in a different place in our careers than the team members we oversee. Here's how to overcome these 3 common management challenges.


One of the hardest part of being a manager is acting on the realization that you can't expect other people to do things the exact way you would every single time. This can feel frustrating, or confusing, or maybe even unproductive, but the shift from individual contributor to manager brings with it a large dose of perspective that goes a long way.


Let's address it.


So many managers expect the people they oversee to do things the same way they did. But not everyone does things the same way. It would be unfair of a manager to judge his team members for acting differently than he would, because everyone approaches situations differently.


This can be tricky for managers to grapple with. Managers are often star performers who were celebrated for their stellar performance as an individual contributor and were promoted into a management position. But as a manager, your responsibilities are different. You are now responsible for outcomes and your team. You are no longer responsible for the execution. And doing something is different than coaching others to do it.


Plus, you, as a manager, likely have more experience than the people you are overseeing. Therefore, it is perfectly logical that you and your team members would do the same thing differently. Maybe they are new to the situation and would take a fresh approach, whereas you have more wisdom built into your decisions after decades of dealing with the same type of people and know how to get success more efficiently. Whatever the reason, managers are in a different place in their careers than the team members they oversee.


Let's dive into each of these three principles more closely.



 


#1 Everyone approaches situations differently


Have you ever listened to your friend's story about her insufferable boss, and said, "I would've just told her off!" And your friend is appalled and says she just wants to sweep it under the rug and hopes it goes away? Or what about times when you watched a movie or TV show with someone and they had a completely different reaction to a dramatic scene than you did? Maybe you even felt confused or annoyed that the other person didn't cry at a sad scene like you did. Maybe you started to judge them based on how they reacted differently than you did.


These are common challenges, but with some emotional intelligence, we can combat them in our management. First and foremost, we have to recognize that everyone has a different worldview. Our beliefs, values, attitudes, thoughts, emotions, passions, morals, influences, education, experiences, and previous outcomes ALL contribute to every single subsequent moment in our lives. Every moment we live is made up of everything that came before. And with so many moments that make up a life, it's no wonder that it would be impossible for two people to have the exact same results.


The mix of our past is what makes us beautifully unique. We just have to remember to embrace that for ourselves and for others in our management approach.


Even if you and a colleague are in the same meeting, you may have different thoughts and reactions. Maybe you are fed up with how fake someone is being, while your coworker is thankful that at least someone is trying. Same situation, different reactions. Happens all the time. If you have siblings, you'll know that two people can go through life together and have two very different outcomes.


At work, this is a very important principle for managers to acknowledge and embrace. No one has the mix of your past. And you don't have the same touchpoints as anyone else in your office (or on the planet, for that matter). Therefore, the sooner you realize your team members are going to approach situations differently than you would, the sooner you can shift your management to helping them make the best of their personal approach rather than changing them to think like you.


Don't worry--they can act authentically while still ensuring a strategically aligned response.


Recognize that they are going to think about the situation differently than you would, then see what they come up with. This is a lesson in letting go. Don't hover and try to make them act the way you would. Instead, give them space to deal with the situation on their own. Make sure they know they can come to you for help whenever they need it. You are there to talk them through the situation from the sidelines, discussing strategies and relationships and goals and experiences but giving them the tools they need to go out there and perform on their own.


The second step is being okay with the outcome. If it doesn't go well for them, talk with them about why it didn't work. Turn the situation into a teachable moment for them. Tell them stories so they can hear other journeys and the outcomes they produced. Talk about what you might have done differently and (most importantly) why. Give them context. Your job is no longer to do the thing, but instead to equip them with the resources so they can do the thing themselves. And it might look different than how you'd do it, and that's okay.



 


#2 Doing something is different than coaching others to do it


You probably got into a management position by doing your job well. But as a manager, your job is completely different now. You don't have to do that job anymore. You now have to oversee other people doing that job well. And, building off of #1, because they are different than you, they are likely doing that job differently than you would do it.


Let go of execution. Your responsibility is no longer to do the job, but instead to ensure the project is getting done, that certain outcomes are happening, and that your team members are cared for and empowered and happy.


Provide structure--just enough that your team knows your expectations and the intended outcomes, but not so much that they feel stifled and can't be creative and unique in their execution. Discuss strategy. Give context, talk about the direction you'd like the project to take, and open up the floor for questions and ideas.


One of the great parts of being a manager is spotting other great ideas. You don't have to have all the answers. Empower your team members to come up with new ways of doing things that may work better for them--and for the team--than the way you did it. Humble yourself to the idea that others may do things differently--and maybe even better--than you did.


As a manager, you should want to be surprised and delighted! Give your team members the chance to do things their way.


As long as you are clear about your strategy, expectations, and goals, focus on the outcomes and take care of your people. If they feel taken care of and informed, they will do good work. Trust that, and nurture your people. Good work will follow.



 


#3 Managers are in a different place in their careers than the team members they oversee


This realization hits many managers hard and is often the impetus to a shift in their approach. They feel frustrated knowing that they can do a task and watching their team members do it differently or not as well. They struggle with letting go, and sometimes they feel scared that they're going to let a team member fail, especially when they know how to succeed.


Sometimes, it's not about doing it right the first time. If you take a coaching approach to management, you likely want your team members to get out there and learn on their own. You want them to be faced with obstacles and to have to figure out what to do. You're not hurting them or setting them up for failure; you're coaching them through a situation, but they're the one actually getting through it. You're the voice on their shoulder helping them steer the ship when they need it.


This is a new perspective for many managers. But it helps to think about the fact that you're in a different place in your career than your team members are now. Of course you'd do something differently--you have ten more years of experience than your team member (for example). Of course, if something has to get done, you can jump in and help your team member by giving them resources, training them, and showing them what to do or how to do it. But you'll garner longer term trust and empowerment if you coach your team members through the situations they face and let them know they have the opportunity to work through it themselves or to ask you for help. Let it be their choice--not yours.


I personally had to figure this one out myself, and it took a while. But finally I realized, "I've been doing this for 15 years. I'm managing someone who is new to this. It would be completely unfair of me to expect a new marketer to be able to do what someone with 15 years of experience could do." Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you and your team members have the same experience. Let them experience new things. Let them face new challenges. Ensure they know they can come to you for guidance when they need it. Then let them pleasantly surprise you with a creative solution or a new way of doing something that works for them and produces positive results--best case scenario!



 


If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you


Ultimately, shifting from an individual contributor to a manager of people is tricky. You are being rewarded for doing a good job by being given a completely different job. You have a different set of responsibilities and expectations. Your goals change. Your day-to-day changes. You want to stick to what you know how to do, which is what you've done so well you got recognized for it. But you can't. Because that's not your job anymore. Now, you have to care for your people. You have to usher projects along. You have to tie strategy to outcomes and vice versa. You have to help other people fulfill their passions. Let go of the execution. Let go of the muddle in the middle. Empower what other people can bring to the table and celebrate unique, creative solutions and ideas and questions.


I once had a tumbler that read, "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." My clients LOVED it. They called out how mature it was and how it resonated with them. The more I progress through my career, the truer it seems. To be challenged by something like this is to grow. To face new obstacles. To see that things are not the same, and to know that you're expanding your skill set by doing something new. We want to change. We want to add tools and skills and experiences to our arsenal. And we want to be the reason others can succeed. As a manager, things are not about you anymore. As a star performer, you probably got a lot of pats on the back. Now, you're the one patting others on the back. Make sure they feel it authentically and often.




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